Poem XII

Did you ever think what this would do to us? You took away everything I worked so hard for, and now I stand here with nothing, was this your plan all along? A tormented soul, looking for an end, with nothing left to lose. Do you feel any regret, any remorse for what you did to me? I wonder if you are to far gone to feel anything at all. Your selfish desires got the best of you, and ended such a beautiful thing.

It’s almost easy to give it all up, and surrender to death and decay. It’s amazing how it all ended so quickly, to fast for my heart to process what it just lost. I never knew a heart could bleed internally. Now the sun doesn’t shine, and my scars continue to grow, it’s all so meaningless now. Sometimes I blame myself for what happened, but deep down I knew it was fate playing it’s role in our lives, even though I wish it didn’t. It truly is awful, the feeling I have after all this happened, and every day I live with the same pain. I’m so used to it by now, that I have truly become numb.

I thought that in time the pain would become less and less, but in reality it just kills you slower, and slower. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, following the wrong road, listening to the wrong voices. It truly is a constant struggle with reality. It’s a constant struggle keeping a grip on what I call reality. One day I hope I can smile again, and continue writing my own story. It seems like it’s been forever since I could think clearly. It has been forever since my heart has smiled. It’s true what they say…. Time only kills us.

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