Poem XIV

Never to be held down by this sickness. I keep saying this day is mine, but slowly life is ticking away from my heart. My soul already damaged. I’ve been denied so many times, I’ve been torn away for so long, I do think it’s possible to go farther into this darkness. I never thought I would see the day where my heart tears itself.

I know I am fragile, I know I can bend and break but I keep trying, I keep telling myself there will be a day where the sun shines again. It’s a shame the world can do this to one person, to swallow a person’s passion, a person’s ability to feel. The world consumes all that is good, tearing piece by piece. Never stopping to think, never stopping to wonder the damage it is causing.

It’s like looking at a broken statue and wondering what went wrong. It’s like looking in the mirror and wondering what went wrong. We all take life away from each other without knowing. I’ve been waiting for a sign, I’ve been waiting for some sort of answer but I know I can’t handle the truth. I know I couldn’t handle the tremendous pressure of honesty.

I’ve come to figure out why I constantly lie to everyone, why I lie to the world. Because I know deep down the pressure of it all, would kill me. Eventually everything caught up to me, and now I’m wondering where it all started, how it began… This path of subtle lies, and self destruction. It’s why I’m alone, it’s why I live in a house full of doubt, and it’s why I have to show you who I am.

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