It’s A Rough Road [P3]

It’s been a spree of writing! No really, it has been. I have a ton of like drafts on Google right now… It’s sad, but hey… I am being productive at the same time, so it’s a win win situation. Continuing the trend of this series, I have been testing my stream of the PS4 for Destiny, and other various games. I’m still having some difficulty of the quality on my PC. I’m not sure if it’s my PC specs, or the settings with XSplit, but I’m still tinkering around. I’m having a lot of fun just messing around with it, and I can really see myself doing this as a daily thing.

The repeating question in my head is… “What kind of streamer do I want to be?”. That’s a pretty broad question, and I’ve touched on this before but like… I figure I can be like my favorite streamers I watch now. Comedic, informative, etc etc. I tend to be okay at explaining things to people, I did a fairly decent jobs at explaining raids in World Of Warcraft when I was a raid leader, and I like to think I was pretty decent at it. I can always incorporate that into my streaming style. Most important though is that I need to be myself. I don’t want to fake my way to viewers, or be someone I am not. I need to be who I am, and that’s that. That’s a pretty scary thought though, being myself.

So, I know exactly what I will be streaming on my PS4, so then it comes down to once I figure all my PC settings out, what exactly do I stream? Well, I play a lot of Hearthstone, and with the upcoming game I will announce at a later time, what then? Well, of course we always have The Secret World and such. I like to keep my “Playing” games to a min. I don’t want to playing 5 different MMOs at the same time, it devalues all of them. I keep on thinking to myself just hold off on the PC streaming until the later date, and focus on streaming console games. It’s all fine and dandy if I do that, but like… I want to stream all the games I play, you know?

I guess it all comes down to my preferences and such. I have a lot of time to think and overall develop my stream style, my schedule, and etc. I don’t plan on making any money off of this, I don’t plan on having a ton of viewers as well. This is really just to get my reviews more content, rather than writing it all down. Don’t get me wrong, if I gain some viewers that’s awesome, I would surely love that! The core of this though, is really to expand my reviews into more than just writing. I have this book, it’s a notebook you could say it’s my own review journal, of ideas and such I have that I want to jot down, for future reference.

I can’t tell you how big this notebook really is, and how full it is… I would be kind of ashamed. Literally it’s filled with games I want to review, how I should go about it, and etc. This “journal” has really helped my writing style grow and mature into what it is now. Okay, I know I have bad sentence structures, I use a TON of commas but it’s not like… Put into one huge paragraph, and no pauses. It’s readable dang it! I’ve came a long way, a really long way when I first started. I write down what I don’t like writing about, and what I do like writing about. Certain aspects of the game I should focus on more, etc etc.

I think my biggest problem with all of this right now is sticking to a game. It’s kind of like the problem I have in World of Warcraft, “Hello, my name is Josh, and I’m an alt whore”. I can’t stick to something for so long. As it stands now, ESO, and SWTOR are my current longest reviewed game. I’ve come back to SWTOR more times than I can remember, because it’s just so good. Well, if it’s that good what’s the problem? Well, I feel a lot of pressure when reviewing a game. When I feel pressured, as in life I tend to drift away from the problem, until I fill it’s void with something else, I.E MMO Hopping.

How do we fix this problem? I don’t know really, force myself? I kind of did that with SWTOR. I forced myself to play it, and it kind of worked for a little while, but it didn’t settle… Alas, I still have a want to come back to it, but then about two months or even less the problem repeats itself. I don’t think there is an exact cure, until I find that “Right” game. If there is such a one. Maybe in due time. I think another huge problem is that I over hype myself, and the game.

Let’s discuss that before I wrap this all up once and for all! If we Google the definition of Hype we get… extravagant or intensive publicity or promotion. We as players tend to over hype games when we know very little about it, or after we seen a two minute in-game clip. That’s just who we are. We want the game we see, and like what we see to be the best there ever will be. Of course with that comes huge problems, let downs, etc etc. “Oh my god, we hyped this game so much, but it sucks, how could they do such a horrible job!” Etc etc.

I kind of do that in my game I over hype myself in the game, by saying “Holy crap, it’s so good, it can only get better right?” Wrong, I do the complete opposite of what I saying. Instead of keeping the energy of what I am saying, the game will just fall off as it normally does, and as always… I’m left with the hype syndrome. I’m causing the self destruction of the game I call fun. It’s a sad and lonely world. You think I would learn my lesson after doing it over and over. Of course, I don’t, because I want to believe that this game can live up to the hype I am presenting it with.

Going back to a point of… Is there such a cure for this? Maybe if I learn some patience or something, and stop stressing out over small things like that. I believe it’s more of a personal issue than anything else… Maybe one day I’ll go back to SWTOR, or ESO, or whatever game. Until then I am focusing on two games, and a third unannounced game. I hope you’ve enjoyed this read of my personal things. I think I’ll do this every once in awhile to let you all have some insight on what goes down in my thought process. I’ve enjoyed letting you all in my odd world. Thank you for reading for the past couple of years, and here is to many more years to come. Cheers!

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